I lay here in bed and as i shed these tears i shed them because i know i will no longer have an excuse to go back. I shed these tears because yes im hurt, im heart broken, im depressed, im angry. Im mad at god for allowing me to hurt again. Im mad at god for putting him in my liife and not warning me he'd hurt me too. Im mad at him for breaking all his promises. Im mad at him for speaking empty words of love to me. Im mad at him for making me fall in love with him. Im mad at him for breaking my heart. Im mad at him for destroying my dreams. Im mad at him for making me cry. Im mad at him for not fucking caring. Im mad at him for using me. Im mad at him for being a lie. Im mad at him for fooling me. Im mad at him for letting me say goobye. Im mad at him for being so charming. Im mad at him for having those adorable little eyes. Im mad at him for not valuing how i let him touch my body after he knew the shit i went through. Im mad at him for turning me on. Im mad at him for the way i want him so bad.. Im mad at him cuz i love him. Im mad that he doesnt give a fuck and doesnt even try. Im mad. Im enfuriated. Im torn into millions of pieces inside. Im mad because he promised me so much, i was living a lie....
But my eyes r wide open now, ive woken up from my dream. A dream that i forced myself to believe in, a dream that i never wanted to loose. But my time to part has come. My time to say goodbye ariived. And this time i know i wnt go bakk no matter how much leaving is gnna make me cry. This is gnna hurt me.. A part of me will never let go. A part of me will always wonder why ,who hes with, or if hes alone. I want to scream so loud because this hurts me so much. Im tired of having to cry in the shower where no one will hear or see mee. Im tired of telling myself he does love u angie sooner dan later hes gonna realize iit and hes gonna show you hes different from the rest. Hes gonna call u today angie, hes gonna text you. Why why do I fucken have to hurt myself telling me those things iif ii know its not gonna happen. If all I am doing Is hurting myself more and more. I cant do this anymore, I cant keep living a lie. Letting go when youre not ready to do so is like stabbing yourself in the heart and leaving the knife there so that anything that tries to get near hurts u as bad. To remind you not to love again. How am I gonna do this I don’t know. I don’t know how im gnna b able to love again, to smile without remembering for 3 years it was he who made me smile. 3 years? Yes 3 years. I gave him 3 years of me and for what? I know I have to let go.. and today im letting go. :………[
I don’t deserve this diosito u know I don’t!!!!!!!