I can tell from your letter that you are very ill from the eating disorder. When you get to the place where you're bruising and your hair is falling out, it's time to get some serious help. Please please, find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, a good nutritionist, and make an appointment with your doctor asap. You are very acute at this point -- get to a doctor asap!! Do not pass GO --
The good news is that you can become very well and not be FAT -- I promise you this -- I also promise you that if you continue to go on the way you are that you'll die. This is a horrible thing. You have lost a lot of cognitive ability -- this is why you see yourself in the mirror as fat when in fact you're not at all!! I don't even have to ask you your height and weight to know that....
Please keep in touch with me and let me know what you do! Let me know how I can help you!!
Jeannie Rust, PhD