ii wr0te thiis n0vember 10, 2008

ii wrote thiis almost a year back..
and ii ask myself where iis that angie
cuz that iis who ii need bakkk
she was str0ng.. powerful..ii need her bakk!

As hard as you try to let goooo of the past and what made who you are now is the hardest thing to accomplish.. one day i plan on doing so. But right now My heart wont let me. I will move on dats for sure.. but let g0 n forget why ii am who ii am n why ii have dee attitude ii have ? iimposible! Because all of those things that happened to me then are what keeps me going str0nger n motivated! Ii will hold on to dat feeling until ii accomplish everything dat ii have set for mee. N when ii reach where ii want to be.. I will leave my past behind n never ever ever look back!

My current status: Im single. (im fine with it)

Ive finally gotten to know myself on a deeper LeveL theres things ii knew bout myself already dat iim embracing even more… n deres things bout myself that ii never knew ii was capable of having! Here ii am loving meee.. loving everything about myself! N each day ii love myself more n more n never less!

My friends?: dey're good. Actually dew few ii have r great!

Im learning dee true meaning of friiendshiip n iim silently n slowly letting go of those who manage to bring negatiiviity to my life n to those who never appreciate anything of what ii d0 or have done! N dats fine some of us appreciate 0thers take shiit f0r granted… I wont hate them f0r that we are all different… but ii will n0t waste ma time on dem ii will simply leave without an explanation n without a goodbye n wen dey stop n think "what happened to angiie" well let me tell you wat happened to angiie –angiie went bu-bye angiie iis now with her true friends dee ones who day n night support her n make her smiile angiie iis now no where near u n angiie will never ever come bakk.. angiie iis liiviing her life… a life dat u were once part of.. but now uve been forgotten… u wanna judge angiie for being so harsh for leaving without saying anythiing??? Do iit.. ii fukn dare you.. because u made her who she iis now.. so iif u wanna judge her go ahead.. but everythiin ur saying bout her will bounce bakk to you!- enufffffff said

Me: well im just something else.

But iim dat something else u wont fiind anywhere else or iin anyone else.. n dat ii guaranteeee y0u! I need to let go and stop holding grudges but im Human and i make mistakes.i just want to be a 20 yr old instead of a 30 yr old. Ive been watching my back. taking care of my shit at 18. when can i just reeelax? It seems in the end that im wrong at everything. Growing up i fucked up a lot of thiingsss! N n0w all iim tryna do iis fixx my mistakes n make sure ii never ever do wat ii diid! Before ii diid everything dat got me n0 where! N n0w iima do eevrythiing dats gonna get mee far very very far!!

My temper: hmmm ii have to admit ii am a liil angel but ii can have dee worst temper!

Blame mee?? Y0u cant! Once ii was dat liil iinoocent angiie dat diid wat everyone said.. dat smiled n got handled like iif she was a fkn puppet! Dee one dat kept everything iinsiide.. n n0w u ask "what happened to dat sweet LiL angiie we all knew" iim here… iim here.. but ii know who deserves my sweetness n who doesn't.. ii think wat u guys r all tryiin to ask iis "why wont she do what ii say anymore" ha! Caught u didn't ii…. But get used to iit cuz for years now iive been doiin mee being iindependent! N iif ii have a temper… iits all thanks to plenty of you… iim giving u a taste of ur own mediiciine.. tastes like shiit doesn't iit… well shut up n swall0w iitttt…

I wish i had simple problems like with what im going to wear tomorrow or is my boyfriend going to get mad at me if i talk to this person or something or where iis my new paiir of sh0es.. but instead ii have t0 w0rry bout every step ii take.. about whos gonna bakk stab mee tomorrow… ii have to watch wat mistakes ii make kuz iit seems like ppl r just waiitiing t0 see me fall.. but dat aiint gonna happen.. get used to iit!

you tryyy to be me..

u cant handle it

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