However, if your friend gets an eating disorder, balance is very hard to maintain. This is because these disorders are by definition egocentonic; this means that the disorder is all important, and therefore, the individual becomes highly self absorbed. Consider this: if anorexia was a real-life person, she would be a huge celebrity, bathed in brilliant lights on an enormous stage, demanding all focus, all attention, be on her.
What should a person do when an eating disorder enters a friendship, or love relationship? There are many suggestions and guidelines revealed in subsequent articles, such as listening, conveying compassion, extending help, etc. But whether a friend or a significant other, keep in mind that you are important too and your needs also have value.
Remember…Relationships need balance. If you have a relationship with someone suffering from anorexia or bulimia, extend love to them, and to yourself. If you need additional help in coping with the situation, you may consider a support group. Until your eating disordered friend achieves recovery, her primary love interest -- strange as it may seem – will remain her eating disorder. :[ this is so true!
Those struggling with anorexia nervosa and other eating disorders often drift into isolation because they allow friendships to weaken (or to end completely). The loss of relationship corresponds to the loss of food intake.
Anorexia Creates Isolation Around Meals and Snacks
Isolation in anorexia often begins with times that involve food. Meals and snacks with others create the risk of being seen, or perhaps hearing others suggest that she should eat more. Meals can be times of great discomfort because the person with anorexia must go to extremes to look normal. She may cut food into tiny bites and chew excessively, for example, to look busy while avoiding taking in many calories.
One-Sided Relationships Create More Isolation With Anorexia
Those struggling with anorexia generally dismiss offers of help from others. A person with anorexia will usually have a sense of power from being able to restrict food intake. She will often hide this sense of power with a very helpful attitude, being willing to offer aid to others with no strings attached.
The "niceness" stays intact in part because the person with anorexia is very comfortable giving to others--as long as she does not have to receive anything from someone else. When others offer help to her, the nice demeanor may melt away quickly. Having offers of help challenges her with the idea that she might need something, or someone. This is uncomfortable.
very true i know this happens to me alot of times :[